This so called problem is the feeling/realization that women get/have is when they want more out of life than just marriage, husband & children (the nerve of us women to want more than that - we are so hard to please!) I am in no way implying that having or wanting a marriage, husband and children is bad or wrong or "old fashion" I'm just agreeing that wanting more is part of being a human being. Aren't we created with the ability to learn and to become all that we can be? (No, I'm not a recruiter for the Army) and just because we are women why is it questioned that we would want more out if life - like a fulfilling career, friends and possibly being single if that is what a women chooses. (You know. . . .ME TIME)
Recently, watching Titanic on TV I was thinking about the main character, Rose. I do believe she was going through something like "The Problem with No Name" . . . read these lines and see what you think: (This is when Rose & Jack are walking on the deck and he asks what could have happened that she thought about jumping off the ship)
". . .It was everything, my whole world and all the people in it and the inertia of my life plunging ahead and me powerless to stop it. . . "
". . .500 invitation have gone out, all of Philadelphia's society will be there, and all the whileI feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even look up"
Sounds to me that Rose came to this realization just in time (too bad the ship had to sink) but the thing I admire most about Rose is that she did something about her longing, even after the tragedy she faced. She went into the world and did all the she wanted to in life - the proof is in her pictures she treasured so much. (I always thought it would be interesting to know what she did and how she lived her life after Titanic)
We each need to be accountable for our own happiness and conquer the World!
Take a look at the following link that shows 125 Women who changed the World:
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/inspirational-people/women-who-changed-our-world#slide-1 I'm sure ALL of them women's listed here had/have ideas and dreams to achieve the most out of their world and most of them have families.
And of course I have to have this link here of the 10 Most Powerful Female Characters in Literature:
http://flavorwire.com/265847/10-of-the-most-powerful-female-characters-in-literature/7/
This does not mean that any of these women, real or fictional, do not have any problems of their own. Like all humans they do have problem but they are able to deal with them and move on in their lives.They are not belittled or challenged for having/wanting/doing "IT ALL!". In my opinion this makes them all the more enviable! They are FREE to BE THEMSELVES!
Some of MY favorite Courageous, Independent Women -
 |
| Charlotte, Miranda, Carrie & Samantha |
 |
| Oliva Pope |
 | ||
| Frances Mayes |
 |
| Hermione Granger |
 |
Sandra Bullock Jennifer Hudson |
Who are some of your favorite "unconventional" women who have it all? Have you even experienced "The Problem with No Name" - share your views on this subject so I know I'm no the only one with these unrealistic goals. . . (that's a joke)
Update:Had to put this link in here as I just saw this online:
Heroic women of 2013
i absolutely loved this article and the links that you shared!!!
ReplyDeletei need to make this book my next read! as a single woman of thirty, i do feel the pressure of "the problem with no name." i do enjoy being single and am having fun but feel the need to settle down and have a family. i am at that age where my peers are getting married or having kids and i am out and about, forgetting i am not in twenties. the worse is seeing people from my past, people that i was sure would never marry before me but did. it's tough because i wonder if my disappointment in my lack of domesticity is the result of my own feelings or society's expectations. i am having fun with life but why do i still feel like i haven't achieved anything (though this also due to the fact that i am thirty and careerless but the fact that i feel this way is a good sign in terms of progression since "the feminie mystique" was first written. careers are goals of woman and not something we should feel guilty about having!) it's funny because when i was in high school, darlene (from the dance studio) always told us to wait until we were thirty to have kids. at the time i was an active member of the mormon church (where motherhood is the main goal for women) and thought darlene was ridiculous. but am currently in that boat but am glad i didn't have kids at a younger age. though i am in that weird age where biologically i feel like my timeline for kids is narrowing in. though my mom had brother at 44 and i am okay with sperm banking it. i have always said i can see myself as a mother versus a wife but that i think is due to being raised by strong single women and marriage not being too revered in my family. lol. but enough of my venting!
here is my list of my favorite unconventional women (fictional and real):
holly golightly (book version)
francie nolan
hester prynne
janie crawford
carrie bradshaw
cher (from clueless)
madonna
frida kahlo
marina abramovic
zelda fitzgerald
gertrude stein
karen o.
gwen stefani
mindy kaling
lena dunhan
sandra cisneros
jhumpa lahiri
tina fey
ps i have never seen titanic but way to go rose for changing her life!!
DeleteOkay, wait WHAAAATTTT? Did I read correctly? You've never seen Titanic? You MUST be the only one left in the Free World by now. . . LOL!!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I completely understand your feeling that you should be settling down to have a family. I did at your age. I really wanted to be married by the age of 30 as I really did think that if I wasn't then no one would want to marry the older me - I also wanted a child by that age too thinking that it was the norm. So yes, I was married at 27 but didn't have my first child until 36 (I'm probably older than most of the other Mom's in my daughter's class - but at least I don't look it - lol!) I can say that I'm really happy that I waited to have a child until I was older. . . .I feel like I as so much more patient than I would have been if I was in my 20's.
I do have a few friends that have :chosen" not to have children and a couple that have chosen to stay single. I'm sure there are times when we all want to enjoy the company of someone special but I think that if you are happy and are independent such as yourself then you should just enjoy what you are doing and enjoy life! This choice is something only YOU can make for yourself and once it's made it's difficult to change your situation. I have to say sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if my choices were different.
You come from a family with very strong Women Role Models so I'm sure this has influenced your life for the better (my opinion). I wouldn't worry too much as you are a well adjusted happy Human (I chose not to say Woman because everyone should be happy in life) When the time is right and you have someone in your life you will KNOW and you won't even feel like you're making a choice - it'll feel like your natural course. But I would hope that you don't "Settle" because of societies expectations of a woman.
I do think you would be a GREAT Mom and would instill the same ideals on your child as well.
I'm glad to know that even as a younger woman you kinda feel "The Problem with No Name". . . . no I don't mean I glad you are experiencing it I just mean that I find it interesting that woman of all ages, races, backgrounds, etc. . . feel this desire. It's comforting to know someone else knows how you feel.
Love your list on unconventional women!!!