FINALLY!!! Takedown Twenty

Well here it is well into the 3rd week in February 2014 and I've only finished my first book for the new year! This wasn't how I wanted to start me year in Reading. . . . I have a bunch of books lined up but you know with tax season starting. . . I just haven't been able to keep up. So I officially apologize to those on the waiting list at the library for the books that I have borrowed and didn't even get to read. OH - and as if I didn't know this already - I have to say please don't follow my example of ready three books at once - gosh! Talk about getting mixed up with the characters. . . . I NEED to focus and just read one at a time. So for my first blog of the year I read Janet Evanovich: "Takedown Twenty"

As the title indicated - this is the 20th book in the series of Stephanie Plum, Bounty Hunter. This is my usual fallback book in between heavier reads when I need a little comedy or lightness to my selections. Stephanie is from the "Burg", a suburb of New Jersey - she took a job from her cousin Vinnie (ha ha, just got that!) when times were hard and she needed some money to pay the bills. She basically is a "good-looking goofball" with the craziest cast of characters to support the hilarious antics she encounters. The two men in her life are Joe Morelli (her high school crush and still great looking Italian cop-boyfriend); Ranger, an ex-military, runs a security business, HOT looking (and even HOTTER KISSER) associate that always comes to Stephanie's rescue just in the time of need. Lula; an ex-hooker (uh hem - I mean ex "Ho", that is Big, Beautiful, Boisterous and ALWAYS Packing! Then you have Stephanie's Grandma Mozer - a "Big Personalities come in Small Packages", energetic, and always willing to help out a Bounty Hunter in Need elder of the neighborhood. She knows everyone and everyone knows her. With all these character's helping you out what could go wrong? Right?

I promise this is a funny, light read and I'm sure the characters will get you to chuckle at least once.

Hopefully soon I'll be back on track with great reads I have lined up!!! And don't be surprised if you find an IRS Publication listed on this blog as I'm reading enough of those - UGH!!!

Newfangled Fairy Tales - Classic Stories with a Funny Twist Book #2

Because I read the book #1 as my last book of 2013, I had placed my request at the library for book #2 to complete the tales "retold" in a most creative way. Stories in this book are:

Rumpelstiltskin, Private Eye

The Girl Who Wanted to Be a Princess

The Little Tailor

A Thoroughly Modern Rapunzel

The Fairy Godfather

The Clever Princess Who Slept on a Pea

The Gold Ring

Red Riding Hood and the Scrawny Little Wolf

Hansel and Gretel

Katie and the Dragon

 As expected this book continues with our favorite classic fairy tales "updated" with the funny little twists that I sooo love! My favorite stories in this book are The Fairy Godfather - cause I LOVE that a man gets a chance to be the minority and trys to help out the woman. And I absolutely LOVE The Clever Princess Who Slept on a Pea - let's just say she's sooo clever she fools her Mother-In-Law to be (The Queen) that The Queen can't help but to respect her. LOL!!!! All the stories are creative and witty and OH WAIT, I have a Shout-Out for Rumpelstiltskin ~ In the story the Captain of the Guard can never remember Rumpelstiltskin's name. . . he always addresses him incorrectly like "Bumplestiltskin" or "Bumpletallskin" but my all time favorite name is . . . . wait for it. . . . .  ."WRINKLESOFTSKIN" - as I'm sure you know by now (especially if you've read my previous blogs) I BURSTED out laughing once again (I'm sure by now I'll have a permanent mark by my name for making too much noise) I also LOVE that Rumpelstiltskin's friend "Happy" (Yes, the dwarf from Snow White - he got promoted) calls him "Rump" for short.

So you see what I mean right? These stories are funny, different, creative and very imaginative. This would be a great activity to do with kids and have them re-tell the stories in their own ways. So makes me wonder how would I re-tell such stories? . . . . (maybe I'll start another blog for that - hahahaha!)

 

Newfangled Fairy Tales (classic fairy tales with twist) - Bruce Lansky

LITTLE BAD WOLFE AND RED RIDING HOOD
Found this book on Amazon's Daily Deals and had to download it to my Kindle right away. Glad I did. . .it's a twist on the beloved fairy tales we all grew up with. Since I absolutely LOVED The Stinky Cheeseman and Other Fairly Stupid Tales I knew I just had to read this one. The daily deal book is only a sample so I didn't get to read all the stories but have no fear I will buy the rest because they are funny.

This book wasn't as funny as The Stinky Cheeseman (by now I think I'm partial to that book) but this one did have lots of creativity and I really could visualize the characters doing and saying their lines. So in that sense that's good! (I probably would have made the wolfe speak with "street/hip hop" talk)

Once again I will state that this type of book may not be fully appreciated by younger children because it is a play on the original fairly tales of "yore". (always wanted to use that word in a sentence) So it's probably best to either read the original fairy tales first then read this one to the youngsters or just stick with those that are fimiliar with the original.

The concept of this book is refreshing because I often think of things like this and my downfall is that I never write them down - if I did look I too could have become an author. My daughter and I make up stories all the time using books or tv shows or just our imagination and you'd be surprised how good they turn out. I loved playing this game with her when she was little as it would always make her sleepy (more often than not I would fall asleep first - LOL!!)

The Feminine Mystique - Betty Friedan

I initially saw this book on the side bar of Goodreads while I was checking out the books that my friends have read. Because it's a nice red color of course I had to check it out! (of  course!) The title kinda intrigued me too. So low and behold when I find out the topic is about the "Problem with No Name" (Is this how J.K. Rowling came up with the title "He Who Must Not Be Named" for Voldermort's character?)

This so called problem is the feeling/realization that women get/have is when they want more out of life than just marriage, husband & children (the nerve of us women to want more than that - we are so hard to please!) I am in no way implying that having or wanting a marriage, husband and children is bad or wrong or "old fashion" I'm just agreeing that wanting more is part of being a human being. Aren't we created with the ability to learn and to become all that we can be? (No, I'm not a recruiter for the Army) and just because we are women why is it questioned that we would want more out if life - like a fulfilling career, friends and possibly being single if that is what a women chooses. (You know. . . .ME TIME)

Recently, watching Titanic on TV I was thinking about the main character, Rose. I do believe she was going through something like "The Problem with No Name" . . . read these lines and see what you think: (This is when Rose & Jack are walking on the deck and he asks what could have happened that she thought about jumping off the ship)

". . .It was everything, my whole world and all the people in it and the inertia of my life plunging ahead and me powerless to stop it. . . "

". . .500 invitation have gone out, all of Philadelphia's society will be there, and all the whileI feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even look up"

Sounds to me that Rose came to this realization just in time (too bad the ship had to sink) but the thing I admire most about Rose is that she did something about her longing, even after the tragedy she faced. She went into the world and did all the she wanted to in life - the proof is in her pictures she treasured so much. (I always thought it would be interesting to know what she did and how she lived her life after Titanic)

We each need to be accountable for our own happiness and conquer the World!

Take a look at the following link that shows 125 Women who changed the World: 

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/inspirational-people/women-who-changed-our-world#slide-1 I'm sure ALL of them women's listed here had/have ideas and dreams to achieve the most out of their world and most of them have families.

And of course I have to have this link here of the 10 Most Powerful Female Characters in Literature:
http://flavorwire.com/265847/10-of-the-most-powerful-female-characters-in-literature/7/

This does not mean that any of these women, real or fictional, do not have any problems of their own. Like all humans they do have problem but they are able to deal with them and move on in their lives.They are not belittled or challenged for having/wanting/doing "IT ALL!".  In my opinion this makes them all the more enviable! They are FREE to BE THEMSELVES!

Some of MY favorite Courageous, Independent Women -

Charlotte, Miranda, Carrie & Samantha

Oliva Pope

Frances Mayes

Hermione Granger

Sandra Bullock

Jennifer Hudson

Who are some of your favorite "unconventional" women who have it all? Have you even experienced "The Problem with No Name" - share your views on this subject so I know I'm no the only one with these unrealistic goals. . . (that's a joke)

Update:Had to put this link in here as I just saw this online:
Heroic women of 2013

Christmas Books

Took this idea from my cousin's blog a tree grows in delano to read some children's Christmas Books with my daughter. (Guess she wasn't too old after all - she claims she had fun.) Although we missed Christmas by a week we went on our weekly trip to the library and decided to find some that would peak our interest. Here's what we found:

If you Take a Mouse to the Movies - Laura Numeroff

This is a Christmas version of the "If you Take. . . " series from Laura Numeroff.
It's a cute story but as Krisha mentioned, I didn't care for it the same as I felt as if it didn't have the same cadence as the If you Take books. The story line is cute and Christmasy but it felt forced into the story. I feel like she could have told a better story with a more consistent flow. Illustration are cute and I'm sure children will love it no matter what.

Noel - Tony Johnston

I have to admit, I picked this book because of the cover and because I like the Christmas song. This book is about young children and older people coming together in a village to celebrate the joy of Christmas. What amazed me about this book is the drawings (which I forgot to take a picture of so I cheated and downloaded a few). The absolutely beautiful drawings in this book are by watercolor artist Cheng-Khee Chee. If you love watercolor art then you will LOVE this book and the artwork along with the story line make a very beautiful Christmas story.

Harold and The North Pole - Crockett Johnson

The story continues of Harold and his adventure with his purple crayon. Harold's imagination takes him to the North Pole as he prepares for Christmas Day. I love Harold as he is a great example of what a little imagination can do. . . in this day and age of all our "high-tech" toys even children can get caught up in our busy world. Taking time to just play does wonders for the soul. I don't see how anyone cannot love Harold - so encourage everyone you know to get out their purple (or whatever color they love) crayon and "let their imagination run wild"

How Santa Lost His Job - Stephen Kreskey

Can you imagine it if Santa Lost his job? In our world today with trying to run a business, streamlining hits the North Pole and even the elves need to think about being cost-efficient. Can our world exist as we know it if we didn't have a Santa? Would we want to have a world without a Santa? Sometimes doing things the old-fashion way may be the best in bringing the right heartfelt touch to certain problems. I think this book was my favorite book of the day!

Christmas Mice - Bethany Roberts

This is a very cute story about holiday mice that are preparing for Christmas by stringing lights, wrapping presents, hanging stocking and are so busy that they forgot about one important "character" in their lives. This story has a great message about sharing the Christmas joy with everyone - including someone that is or may be your enemy.

Side note: why are all  helpful, busy little non-human creatures Mice? Think about it. . Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc. . . just curious! It there something about mice I'm not getting?

Max's Christmas - Rosemary Wells

A Ruby & Max Christmas story about how Max has plans to stay up and see Santa Claus, but Ruby is telling Max he can't do that "cause no one ever sees Santa Claus". . . although Max doesn't know why. . .will he find a way to see Santa Claus.

This is the story of a "special" rabbit brother and sister, apparently there is a cartoon called Ruby & Max. I have never seen this before but as my daughter informs me it comes on all the time so she has set our DVR to record an episode for me so I can enjoy Ruby & Max too.

I asked her if Ruby & Max have parents and she said no - so I asked her why but she didn't know so we proceeded to "make-up" stories as to what happened to their parents. I won't post them here as I don't want to lessen the Christmas mood on this page - but she enjoyed the stories and we had so much fun! LOL!!

Love Him or Leave Him (But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab)

Love Him or Leave Him  - (But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab) - Loni Love

I had never heard of Loni Love before and saw her recently on an episode of the Arsenio Hall show. She was so funny and of course when she started promoting her new book I went and looked it up right away at the library. It wasn't what I thought it would be at first. I thought it would be more along the lines of Tina Fey's, Bossypants or Mindy Kaling's, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me books, but Loni's (wow, I'm calling her by her first name like we're BFF's or something) book is more like an advice column for the modern day women with lots of humor thrown in to make her point. She gives great advice on men, marriage, sex, and love. . . It's not like we haven't heard this advice before but in her words "advice we need to hear over and over and over again, like a multiple orgasm" (LOL!!) Learning to "put yourself first" before you expect to find happiness from anyone else. Simple right? So then why can't we women do this? Her hilarious stories and in your face advice will make you wonder about your own Love Life. Interesting fact about Loni - she was an electrical engineer but quit her job to pursue her dream of being a comic - (You Go Girl!) and she was the runner-up on Star Search in 2003. So pick up a copy for a quick read and some great advice!

Final Two . . . ALONE & BOSSYPANTS

As you read in my last blog I was two books away from my "one book per week" goal for 2013. I wasn't too worried about it as I have a every growing list to complete my goal. I already have my first book for 2014 ready and waiting to go. . . . so here are my last two (who knows maybe I'll binge read and add more)

Alone - Lisa Gardner
Like all her books,  this a murder mystery with a pretty clever twist! I found this book browsing the library trying to find a book to "speak" to me. Well speak to me it did! I love a great murder mystery and I love it even more when I can't figure out "who dun it"! Although the killer is identified early in the story it's the behind story that you mentally try to figure out while on this journey. In this day and age of all the Law & Order shows, Criminal Minds, CSI, you get the drift - I like to pretend I'm a detective while I'm reading these types of books to see if I can pick-up on the clues and things. While I won't say I'm FBI material (YET, I still think I could be Clarice Starling in the making - *Silence of the Lambs reference just in case you didn't know but I'm sure you did)  I'm usually pretty good at figuring out the killer in most cases. In real life while reading or watching news stories I'm big on the WHY people do what they do . . .and in this story the WHY is a big big part of the killer. So if you're looking for a good mystery then I highly recommend this one. Lisa Gardner novels always have killings in them but they do not go overboard on the gory details. She does describe the scene in detail and how the victim died but she doesn't do it Friday the 13th or Saw style which I'm sure most people appreciate. 
 

Bossypants - Tina Fey April 2011
In case you've been living under a (30) rock - lol! Tine Fey is only the funniest lady to grace the small screen since the late '90's. Making a name for herself on SNL from 1997-2006 with her classic portrayal of Sarah Palin. She's not only a comic actor but a very funny writer too. turning out scripts for for the movie Mean Girls, SNL and of course 30 Rock.

Some of my favorite lines from this book:

"My dark shin fur was hard to ignore". . . . (talking about wanting to shave her legs for the first time)
"Growing Up and Liking It" (the pamphlet included in her First Period Kit) - cracks me up

"Modesssssssss is coming for you" (her period kit whispering to her from deep within her closet)
"Even Michelle Duggar would have flinched" (talking about seeing a speculum for the very first time and how huge it was)
"I was filled with a poisonous, pointless teenaged jealously, which, when combined with gay cattiness, can be intoxicating"
"Gay people don't actually try to convert people, that's Jehovah's Witnesses you're thinking of"

". . .she was still that enigmatic girl in the beret who didn't get to the dry cleaners very often" (describing Monica Lewinsky)

"Photoshop is just like makeup. When it's done well it's great, when it's overdone you look like a crazy asshole"

I list these few lines out because this type of spontaneous, intelligent, humorous comeback are the ones we all wish we could come up with ourselves. (You know the times I'm speaking about, when someone says something to you and you have it all worked out in your head and you open your mouth and nothing comes out, so instead of feeling witty you feel like you just made an idiot of yourself. You do know what I'm talking about right? It's not just me right? right?)
Once again you may notice that these two books are vastly different from one another. I like the depth of the story that the murder mysteries offer and I LOVE the intelligent humor of the other and what better way to end the year than laughing into the new year!

I could go on and on but I'm sure by now you get that I highly recommend this book, if funny, witty, smart, intelligent women are what you like and you must because you're reading this blog right? right?